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The Dweeb Menace

Last Sunday’s shooting at the First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, Texas had all the trappings of one of America’s longest-running scourges: the dweeb menace.

Shooter Devin Patrick Kelley (a name so Irish that it makes computer screens reek of cabbage) walked into the church dressed for war. In his hands, he carried a Ruger 556 semi-automatic rifle. In one brutal stroke, Kelley killed a sizable portion of the entire town’s population when he gunned down twenty-six.

Eyewitnesses claim that the satanic Kelley even shot crying babies at point-blank range 1. The massacre only stopped when two perfect specimens of the Chadian Texan phenotype, a 55-year-old plumber armed with an AR-15 and a tattooed- and cowboy hat-wearing redneck, decided to shoot Kelley then chase him off of the road 2.

Once isolated and wounded, Kelley called his dad in order to tell him that things looked bleak. He then shot himself, thus releasing the bowels on this gigantic turd of a person 3.

What we know about Kelley so far confirms his dweeb bona fides. A chubby, bearded weirdo who posted pro-atheist, anti-Christian screeds on his Facebook, Kelley was once an Airman in the United States Air Force (a service branch that my old Navy and Marine Corps comrades used to call the “chair force”). During that time, Kelley, a logistics specialist, ran afoul of his high command. In 2012, Kelley received a court-martial after he beat his first wife senseless and cracked the skull of their infant child. Kelley spent twelve months in detention for these crimes, then received a bad-conduct discharge in 2014. This fact should have kept all firearms out of his possession, but the Air Force dropped the ball and did not report Kelley’s felonies to the FBI 4.

Between 2014 and 2017, Kelley managed to (illegally) purchased three different guns, even despite later being denied a concealed carry license by the State of Texas. During this time, Kelley’s dweeb-ish pathologies came to the forefront.

He married another woman, moved back and forth between Colorado Springs and his mother’s house in New Braunfels, Texas, and racked up domestic violence, sexual assault, and animal cruelty charges. Several of Kelley’s neighbors in Texas and Colorado complained about Kelley’s penchant of firing guns on his property, while, in 2013, Kelley was named in two sexual assault cases, one of which accused him of forcing a sixteen-year-old to have sex with him 5.

In 2012, the Air Force caught Kelley trying to bring firearms onto the Holloman Air Force Base in New Mexico, which is a complete violation of military law. Despite what liberals tell you, U.S. military bases are almost completely gun-free zones.

In that same year, Kelley managed to escape from a mental health institution in Santa Teresa, New Mexico and even made it all the way to El Paso before he got picked up by local cops 6.

Kelley—a dweeb through and through.

Now, you might ask, what makes someone a “dweeb.” In brief, a dweeb is a young male completely lacking in masculinity. He is usually fat and in love with the fedora, or skinny and a bit of a swish. Dweebs are also SSRI-dependent, close to their mothers, and spend far too much time in the atomized world of the internet. These are not NEETs; these are dangerous individuals who can be characterized by their severe self-obsession.

Kelley, who one former classmate claims was put on medication way back in middle school 7, is far from America’s first dweeb killer. Here is a brief look at some of the more infamous dweeb murderers and mass murderers of recent memory.

George Hennard, nicknamed “Big George,” was the type of guy who bought breakfast every morning at some dirty convenience store in small-town Texas. A former Merchant Marine who got the boot because of marijuana, Hennard had a reputation as a sullen jerk who hated women. Why? Because Hennard couldn’t screw anything, not even a lightbulb. This anger exploded when Hennard drove his blue 1987 Ford Ranger pickup into the front window of Luby’s Cafeteria in Killeen, Texas on October 16, 1991. He reportedly bellowed “All the women of Killeen and Belton are vipers” while using two handguns to shoot dead twenty-three people 8.

Kimveer Gill loved violence,“ goth chicks,” and weapons. This citizen of Lachine, Quebec, Canada was a college dropout and a military washout who left the Canadian Forces Leadership and Recruit School in Saint-Jean-sur-Richelieu early. His chatroom history on VampireFreaks showed that he loved talking about his guns, 9/11 conspiracy theories, and everything to do with vampires. The guy was outright obsessed with the undead. He also had something against Dawson College students, for on September 13, 2006, Gill, armed with a 9mm pistol, a carbine, and a pump-action shotgun, killed 18-year-old Anastasia De Sousa and wounded nineteen others. Like a lot of shooters, he ended his own massacre by pointing the gun at himself and pulling the trigger 9.

Caleb Fairley also loved vampires. He loved them so much that when a young mother walked into the Your Kidz & Mine store that his family owned in Collegeville, Pennsylvania, Fairley’s sexual fantasies went into overdrive. Thinking that the dark-haired Lisa Manderach looked like the female succubus on one of his favorite t-shirts, Fairley intentionally locked her inside of the store, then strangled her and her infant daughter Devon. The original goal was rape, but Fairley could not do it because Lisa fought back 10.

The infamous Newtown school shooter Adam Lanza apparently made no secret about his intentions. The emaciated and bug-eyed Lanza did have one secret though: he was interested and deeply immersed in the world of online pedophilia. Investigators found a screenplay on Lanza’s computer after the shooting called “Lovebound.” The story described a romance between a 30-year-old man and a ten-year-old boy. Also, under the screen name “Smiggles,” Lanza wrote extensively about Columbine and his sexual attraction to children 11. One theory states that Lanza targeted the students at Sandy Hook Elementary because he wanted to “save” them from the corruption of the adult world.

Of course, thanks to the internet, everyday dweeb psychopaths now have a new audience for their moral failings. One dweeb who called himself “Mr. Anime” used to review anime movies before he decided to kill his whole family 12. Another, Randy Stair, used to make videos about how he was in love with a cartoon character that he himself had created. Stair also happened to be a self-professed Brony, SJW, and pro-trans activist 13. On June 8, 2017, Stair walked into the Weis grocery store in Eaton Township, Pennsylvania and killed three people before killing himself.

This is not an exhaustive list of killer dweebs. That being said, these stories do provide insight into how the dweeb menace operates in America and throughout the world 14. If there is one answer to this problem it is this: dweebs seem to only infect the First World, where post-industrial capitalism has created hyper-individualistic and hyper-atomized societies that all but encourage young men to live in permanent exile like the “hikikomori” 15. Rather than blather on with lectures about “toxic masculinity,” maybe the real problem in the First World is a warped, feminized, and economically rationalized version of masculinity.

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