Thermidor

© 2017 Thermidor Magazine.

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Jake Bowyer

Bye-Bye, Bobby Mugabe

After over thirty-five years in power, Robert Mugabe, the great strongman and “woke” leader of Zimbabwe, was deposed by his own military in one day. On Wednesday, Major General Sibusiso Moyo made an address on national television saying that the Zimbabwe National Army was in full control of the capital (Harare) and that Mugabe was no longer calling the shots. General Moyo did, however, note that Mugabe and his wife Grace are both alive and well. South African President Jacob Zuma confirmed that

The Dweeb Menace

Last Sunday’s shooting at the First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, Texas had all the trappings of one of America’s longest-running scourges: the dweeb menace. Shooter Devin Patrick Kelley (a name so Irish that it makes computer screens reek of cabbage) walked into the church dressed for war. In his hands, he carried a Ruger 556 semi-automatic rifle. In one brutal stroke, Kelley killed a sizable portion of the entire town’s population when he gunned down twenty-six. Eyewitnesses claim tha

Reverse Lottery

The religion of peace has struck again. On Halloween, a hirsute jihadi named Sayfullo Saipov, 29, drove down the wrong way in Lower Manhattan in a rented truck from Home Depot. Saipov drove over bikers and pedestrians, including a foursome of recent graduates from Argentina. After crashing into a school bus, Saipov exited his vehicle, shouted “Allahu Akbar,” and raised two handguns which turned out to be a pellet gun and a paintball gun 1. Luckily, NYPD officer Ryan Nash punched holes in Saipo

Storming the Rubicon

Say what you will about President Donald John Trump, but he will forever sit proudly in my personal shrine of American heroes because of one simple fact: he saved us from four years of Hillary Clinton. This schadenfreude is not based on mere misogyny (although feminism is a sin against God and the 19th Amendment should go night-night), for Clinton should not be loathed simply because she is a harridan who drinks baby's blood every Walpurgisnacht. Rather, Clinton should be loathed because she is

California Burns

The Golden State has long been synonymous with far-Left kookiness. In the 1960s, San Francisco attracted New Age gurus, hippies, yippies, and at least one serial killer who may or may not be a certain senator from Texas. A decade later, religious cults sprung up all across the state, while a certain politician in the Bay Area made it cool to be queer. Harvey Milk eventually got gunned down by a man who cited “diminished capacity” and Twinkies as the reason why he pulled the trigger. The shooter

A New Strongman in Brazil and America's Future?

For Americans on the right, Brazil is synonymous with “Brazilification.” This creeping specter awaits future America, when the Left’s great “browning” occurs sometime in the 2050s. According to statistics released in July 2017, Brazil’s population is estimated to be about 207,353,391 people. 47.7-percent of those people are white. They are the sons and daughters of the nation’s founding Portuguese stock, along with heavy admixtures from other European nations like Spain, Germany, Ukraine, and It

Viva Last Resort

The United States is once again doing the parade of grief after yet another high-profile mass murder. This time though, more than a few eyebrows remain raised over the strangeness of the shooter. In sum, here’s what we know so far. The shooter, 64-year-old Stephen Paddock was a rather well-to-do man who lived part-time in a retirement community located in Mesquite, Nevada. He had a live-in girlfriend named Marilou Danley, a Filipina with dual citizenship to both the Philippines and Australia.

The Caudillo Principle

In today’s America, “unity” and “togetherness” are imbued with almost divine reverence. When President Donald Trump criticized NFL players for protesting the national anthem, these players and their supporters castigated the president for his “divisive rhetoric” and for trying to dismantle America’s “unity.” Logically speaking, these complaints assume that America was a perfectly unified country before Donald Trump came along, and furthermore, such words indicate that a majority of Americans sup